Dan Howell Being Inappropriate | PART 2

Relationships

Fuck.. my.. butt… Don’t do that. Mmm.. breakfast bar. Breakfast bar. I go, like, three months typo-free and then all of a sudden text my grandma saying ‘dildo basket’ or something, like, seriously the universe hates me.

Can you tinker with a coffee machine? I think you can tinker with anything. If you really want to.

Can Dil tinker with Tabitha? (assorted ‘oohs’ and ‘wops’) Can he? Uh.. All of a sudden, eight pop-ups appear saying, “Horse sex in your area!” “Turnip penetration.. in the butt.” “How many eels will she fit in her-” You get the idea. Dan, that- that’s really weird.

What? You stroking the font. That’s really frickin’ weird.

What? Nothing weird about that. It’s weird. Don’t judge me. I’m not judging you, it’s just not normal.

You’re jealous of our relationship. Uh.. Oh, jeez, ok. Do you even look at erotic Sonic fanart on DeviantArt? No!

Uh.. Who.. does that? But, seriously, if you touch my neck, I will karate chop you. I don’t know why, but I can’t handle it. It’s.. probably a G-spot or something.

This is illegal, horrible. What kind of micropenis must you have that makes you feel the need to do this? Here are my shoes for all you shoe perverts. I know you’re out there. Mmm, sexy shoes. *licks sensually* Uh.. *realizes mistake* Pwe!

Ehh! Stop! Timmy’s only young! *demon voice* Timmy likes it! It doesn’t like it!

Timmy likes it! No! You can see what we’re going for, though.

Yeah. With little nips- I mean peaks. And an interesting fact for you all, when it comes to drawing, I am actually slightly ambidextrous.https://www.slashgear.com/kfc-breaks-into-gaming-with-a-colonel-sanders-dating-sim-yes-really-10591023/

Which is probably just due to me getting an equal amount of exercise with both arms, but I- Oh, oh no, that came out wrong, didn’t it? Oh no, well, that came out really wrong. Oh there’s no way I’m digging myself out of that one is there?

Oh, God! *whistling* Uh, oh God. Dan, did that apple just give you an orgasm? When they’re done, the top should feel firm and the middle should feel soft and squidgy. Phil: Like a cat. // Dan: Like a breast.

I like how I said cat and you said breast. Okay, I need a pineapple, some rubber gloves, and a pot of Vaseline. Look at the girth on that one. I might think I’m weird for trying to fill the hole in my soul by looking at many, many pictures of someone and.. doing things with the pictures.

Now you see my actual orgasm face then.. yeah we’re gonna go there on AmazingPhil. Oh my God. *loud ass groan* Get those hard peaks into my mouth! But, hey, who needs friends when you’ve got whipped cream and Lara Croft?

Fuck.. my.. butt… Don’t do that. Mmm.. breakfast bar. Breakfast bar. I go, like, three months typo-free and then all of a sudden text my grandma saying ‘dildo basket’ or something, like, seriously the universe hates me.

Can you tinker with a coffee machine? I think you can tinker with anything. If you really want to.

Can Dil tinker with Tabitha? (assorted ‘oohs’ and ‘wops’) Can he? Uh.. All of a sudden, eight pop-ups appear saying, “Horse sex in your area!” “Turnip penetration.. in the butt.” “How many eels will she fit in her-” You get the idea. Dan, that- that’s really weird.

What? You stroking the font. That’s really frickin’ weird.

What? Nothing weird about that. It’s weird. Don’t judge me. I’m not judging you, it’s just not normal.

You’re jealous of our relationship. Uh.. Oh, jeez, ok. Do you even look at erotic Sonic fanart on DeviantArt? No!

Relationships

Uh.. Who.. does that? But, seriously, if you touch my neck, I will karate chop you. I don’t know why, but I can’t handle it. It’s.. probably a G-spot or something.

This is illegal, horrible. What kind of micropenis must you have that makes you feel the need to do this? Here are my shoes for all you shoe perverts. I know you’re out there. Mmm, sexy shoes. *licks sensually* Uh.. *realizes mistake* Pwe!

Ehh! Stop! Timmy’s only young! *demon voice* Timmy likes it! It doesn’t like it!

Timmy likes it! No! You can see what we’re going for, though.

Yeah. With little nips- I mean peaks. And an interesting fact for you all, when it comes to drawing, I am actually slightly ambidextrous.

Which is probably just due to me getting an equal amount of exercise with both arms, but I- Oh, oh no, that came out wrong, didn’t it? Oh no, well, that came out really wrong. Oh there’s no way I’m digging myself out of that one is there?

Oh, God! *whistling* Uh, oh God. Dan, did that apple just give you an orgasm? When they’re done, the top should feel firm and the middle should feel soft and squidgy. Phil: Like a cat. // Dan: Like a breast.

I like how I said cat and you said breast. Okay, I need a pineapple, some rubber gloves, and a pot of Vaseline. Look at the girth on that one. I might think I’m weird for trying to fill the hole in my soul by looking at many, many pictures of someone and.. doing things with the pictures.

Now you see my actual orgasm face then.. yeah we’re gonna go there on AmazingPhil. Oh my God. *loud ass groan* Get those hard peaks into my mouth! But, hey, who needs friends when you’ve got whipped cream and Lara Croft?

That sounds really dirty. Oh my God. Why didn’t I realize how wrong that sounds?

I bet none of you even thought of it like that, either, did you? My mind is wrong. I’m gonna stop talking.

Dan: Knock knock. // Phil: Stop touching me! Right. I’ll touch you when I please. Don’t say that again.

Hey Dan, have you seen the… Don’t look at me! DON’T LOOK AT ME!

Here’s a nice fact; me and Phil can here the guy in the apartment underneath us having sex. Every morning at 8 a.m. Really loudly.

It’s a bit weird though as it’s not normal sex noises, it’s like: Ah, ah- oh my.. God! Ah! (flawless imitation) Like Jesus, what is he doing to his girlfriend? I don’t want to know.

In that half an hour, feel free to worship Satan, resurrect a vampire, or.. do that. “How big is your D?” Well, just between you and me, okay. It’s pretty huge. Know what I’m saying? What w- you want to see it?

Well, okay. *grunt* Woah. There we go. Feed me. Easter Daddy. Yeah!

And I’m constantly moist, and not in a sexy way, unless you think that clothes sticking to leather things is hot. I guess that’s what a gimp is actually. No please, Sonic. Please don’t hurt us.

Unless we consent. I’m so perfect. Both: Why would we let them win? // Dan: Yes, punch me, Dad. Conditioner is- is just great for making you look reflective and like you’ve just been in a really inappropriate situation. WHAT UP, I’VE JUST BEEN BORN, GIVE ME THE TIT!

And if you still want to continue this uh- this little thing that we got going on then y’all must be Mother Teresa, seriously, I don’t even.. I’m just so dry and crusty, and until I just.. get inside you and submerge myself in your red juices.. Dip me!

I can’t get into myself.. ah! (random scream-moaning and Phil yelling ‘dip’) Ah! I am complete! (heavy breathing and moaning)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *