Have you ever fallen for someone you can’t have? Maybe it was someone who was already in a relationship or married? Maybe it was someone who you really liked but they just didn’t like you back, or maybe it was someone who lives so far away that there was just a very low chance it was ever going to work out.
I want you to keep watching this video if that’s you because I’m going to talk about why it is that we sometimes fall for people that we can’t have, secondly how it can even be self-sabotage sometimes, and lastly how you can avoid it going forward. I’m Ben Alexander from The Legends Academy we helped men with their confidence dating and relationships and financial freedom and today we’re talking about why we sometimes fall for people that we can’t have. Now the reason that this happens is because you have convinced yourself that that person that you’re falling for is your only chance or your only option or your best option.
Now let’s think about this for a second just to check if what I’m saying is true. If you could meet anyone anywhere (and knowing that on the whole planet there’s so many great people around), then why would you waste your time and your energy chasing after someone that you couldn’t have? Now think about that for a second…why would you waste all of your time and energy pursuing someone that doesn’t want you back, or is unavailable, if you could meet anyone anywhere all the time?
Alright so that’s the real problem that’s the first problem. The first problem is although you might have convinced yourself and told yourself and said “Oh this is the only person for me” you know “I’ve never connected with anyone this well before” or it just you know “it’s meant to be it’s just she’s with the wrong person or he’s with the wrong person” or whatever it is you’re deluding yourself and telling yourself that they’re the only chance you have out of the whole planet, all right?https://www.xda-developers.com/best-android-apps/ Now obviously if you believe that, you’re going to carry on trying to get someone who doesn’t want you back or that that’s already taken, all right?
So that is going to cause you a lot of pain a lot of agony because you’re trying to force something that’s never really going to work out. Now the second thing I want to talk about is how it could sometimes be self-sabotage, now there are people that on an unconscious level, meaning that in their mind without them consciously being aware of it, they’re actually on-purpose looking for situations where it can never really work out. There’s a very low chance or no chance that they’ll actually ever have success in that area. And the reason they do that is if they find someone who’s already taken or live so far away or who doesn’t like them back, then they can say “oh well it was never going to happen anyway” so if it doesn’t work out down the track they can always just say “oh well it wasn’t my fault because you know they were already married or you know they live so far away it wasn’t my fault it didn’t work out”.
So they’re actually looking for an excuse or a reason to tell themselves why you know it doesn’t actually work out so they can sort of let themselves off the hook in the end. Now the last thing I want to talk about today is how you can avoid falling for people that you can’t have. So the first thing to remember is like what I said at the start is stop deluding yourself if you think that that one person is the only person you ever have a chance with stop doing that to yourself. The second thing is if you don’t already have the confidence or the social skills to go out and meet anyone anywhere, then you need to do that so you need to find like a great dating coach or someone like that that can give you the confidence and the social skills so you can meet anyone anywhere. You can meet people walking down the street, in the supermarket, at the movie theater, at the beach, at work, you can meet anyone anywhere because when you can meet anyone anywhere, you then completely massively open up all of your options.
Instead of just having that one option with that one person, you now can meet, basically anyone that you can meet is an option for you now, and if you like them enough and if you have a good connection there, then you have the social skills and the dating skills for example to move it forward and make it what make what you want of it. When you can meet anyone anywhere something really interesting is going to happen. Because you’re going to be meeting great people all the time you’re going to start to meet people where you say “oh well that person I met actually has this thing that I like a lot better about the other person” or “this person doesn’t have that thing that kind of used to annoy me about that person I was hung up on, you know I’ve met so many people now that all have these qualities” and that person that you are hung up on actually starts to look like a less attractive option because you think well “why would I compromise this and why would I compromise that when I can just choose anyone that I want to meet all the time?” Alright? So you stop limiting yourself to that one person you open up the whole world of options you meet all these other great people and then before you know it you’ve usually met at least one or many more other people that are much more attractive and a much better fit in a better option for you than that that other person that you were kind of stuck on all right? So look I want you to comment below what you let me know like what are your thoughts on getting stuck on or falling for someone that you can’t have?
Let me know in the comments below are there any other ideas that you have about getting yourself out of this situation how to handle it? Also I want you to give us a thumbs up if you enjoyed the video today and if you haven’t already and you want more videos like this you know think about subscribing to the channel because you’ll get these videos first before anyone else, and lastly if you did like it and you think you know someone else that could enjoy this or benefit from this video today please share it with them as well it might make someone’s day, but look thank you so much for watching today I can’t wait to catch you in the next video and until then stay Legendary out there.