When it comes to dating, there is a whole host of reasons why the situation does or doesn’t work out. And while you maybe able to pinpoint in particular situations why it didn’t go the way you wanted it to, there may be things that you’re doing that are standing in your way of securing that date. Hey guys, it’s Lindsay with The Attractive Man. And today, I’m gonna give you 5 Reasons Why Some Guys Seem to Always Get the Dates and Others Don’t. #5 And that is your appearance.
Now I know I already did a video about this. If you want either a refresher on all of the things that you can do to enhance your appearance or if you have not seen the video yet and you want to know what I’m talking about, make sure you click down below. So the biggest thing is smell. Having a positive reaction to the way you smell will also help have a positive reaction to getting that date or even securing the second date.
Just making sure that you don’t have on too little cologne or even too much cologne. Just keep it in that middle range and I promise you, she’s going to have a very positive olfactory memory of you. The next thing I’m going to talk about is just overall appearance and just looking like you put forth the effort. Having that first impression is a big, big deal. So really just putting forth that extra effort like grooming your nails, taking a little time to make sure nothing is wrinkled on your clothes and really just looking like overall.
You put yourself together this morning and you’ve made that extra effort and I know that some of you guys are gonna say “Lindsay, I work at a place that I don’t have to really dress up, I don’t have to wear a suit every day.” That’s great that’s fine, there’s nothing wrong with that.https://datingappsadvice.com/top-dating-apps-2019-for-ios.app You can still put forth just a little extra effort and it’ll go a long way. Even if you’re not headed out for a date, maybe you’re going out with your buddies or you’re just going to work but you’re gonna meet people for drinks afterwards, you honestly have no idea where you could meet your soulmate or where you can meet a beautiful woman, in general, that you want to spend any amount of time with. #4 is your manners. Now, before you come at me and say “Lindsay, I know manners,” “I was raised right,” “I know how to chew with my mouth closed,” “I know, I know.” I actually once had a friend who met a guy on Bumble.
She was completely smitten with him, couldn’t stop talking about him. I heard about this guy every day for probably a week and a half and she was so excited to go on a date with him. She bought a new outfit. She literally went all out for this date because she was so excited for this guy. And, it did not go well.
He would ask her a question and then before she could even answer, he’d be like “well, I only ask because for me” and then he would go into a 30-minute dissertation about his experience with the subject. And she, overall, just felt like he didn’t care about her or her opinion at all and she never went out with the guy again. So just being mindful that you’re not interrupting someone when they’re talking is a really big deal. You really only have one chance to make this first impression so you don’t want to let anything stand in your way of securing either the first date or the second date or any date after that for that matter.
Now, this next thing might seem like a no-brainer but honestly, being rude to waiters and waitresses is something that I have seen on more dates than I care to talk about. I’ve had so many guys be so nice to me but when the waitress comes or the waiter comes over talking to a cashier or even just people on the street, they’re so rude almost as if they’re putting on a facade with me and it makes me feel like their kindness towards me or any good things that I get from them are disingenuous because they can’t be nice to the other people that were around. #3 is your listening skills. Being a good listener is a huge deal for women I once went out with a guy who every five seconds kept checking his phone at the table.
I honestly could not have been more turned off and I honestly, felt like “why am I here,?” “why are we on this date.? If there are a million other people you’d rather be talking to, I’d rather you go talk to them and not have wasted my time. Unless, it’s an absolute emergency, put the phone away. Another thing that’s really important is to make eye contact when the woman is talking on the date. I’ve had a lot of guys, they’ll be talking to me, I’ll be answering a question that they just asked me and I’ll just get a lot of this; “mmm-hmm, yeah,” “no, yeah,” “no, yeah, totally.” I hate that.
Women want to feel like we are the center of attention and that all of your attention is on us when you’ve asked us out on a date or if you’re trying to ask us out on a date. We don’t want to be an option, we want to be the option as in the only option that you’re interested in having. So, really, being mindful of where your attention is focused and your eyesight is focused, is going to play a huge role in your active listening. Another great way to show that you are actively listening to us on the date and being a good listener is to ask follow-up questions, getting deeper into the subject, finding out what else we think about that particular subject and not just immediately changing to the next thing.
It’ll show us that you have a vested interest in what we’re saying that will go a long way with any woman in your life. So #2 is being in support of women. I’m not saying that you have to immediately love everything and anything made by women or created by women just because it’s created by women.
And I’m not saying that you can’t be critical of works of art that are made by women. But guys who are completely opposed to seeing anything whether it be a movie or a television show or an art exhibit or even reading a book just because it’s made by a woman. That’s a huge turnoff for us as women in a romantic relationship women want to be seen as an equal partner. So, when you say “I don’t support that because it was made by a woman,” or “I don’t support that because it’s female centric.” To us that says; “why would you support what I do for work, then?” We want to see that we are just as equally important to you as anybody else in the world is. This also plays into how you speak about other women, especially if you’re talking about our friends.
I actually had a personal experience with with a guy I was dating, we had been dating for about a month and we were on a date and he immediately sat down and started talking all about how all my friends were bad. And here’s all the reasons why they were bad and it was a huge turnoff for me. Why? One, do you feel the need to tell me this? and two, like these are the most important women in my life.
So if anything you should be working overtime to find the good in them. This also can apply to the “ex” conversation and and while I don’t think that that’s a conversation you need to have, off the bat, and for a while. How you talk about your exes is really important to a woman. We noticed that kind of stuff. If you were talking ill about your ex and saying she’s crazy and she’s “this” and she’s “that,” that’s not really fair.
And it doesn’t make us feel good, and I know a lot of guys do that because they want to make a woman feel more secure in the relationship. But it actually doesn’t make us feel any more secure. It actually brings up more issues. I’m not saying don’t be honest. Please, don’t get me wrong.
I’m just saying, when you do speak about women in your life, that you’ve had issues with, whether that be an ex or a friend or anyone, really try and focus on the lessons you learned rather than the person, especially when you’re speaking to somebody that you’re trying to date. Alright, we have come to it#1 reason why some guys happen to get the date and other guys don’t. And that is your approach.
How you approach a woman is going to play a huge role in how the rest of the interaction with this woman is gonna go. I honestly had a guy, sit down so close next to me, he might as well have been in my lap and whisper in my ear it was creepy and hated it. Don’t be the guy that makes a bold move in the wrong direction.
I once was in a bar I was talking to a perfectly nice guy and this other guy comes up and infront of the other man I’m talking to says, “hey, when you’re done talking to this guy come over to the next bar.” What? No! Women love when a man is confident enough to approach them but not so confident, it seems as though you care more about yourself than you do about her. So make sure that your interaction shows a valued interest in her, her time, and what she’s doing and not just about you and what you want. Another thing that can kill your approach is being too timid.
When it comes to dating, there is a whole host of reasons why the situation does or doesn’t work out. And while you maybe able to pinpoint in particular situations why it didn’t go the way you wanted it to, there may be things that you’re doing that are standing in your way of securing that date. Hey guys, it’s Lindsay with The Attractive Man. And today, I’m gonna give you 5 Reasons Why Some Guys Seem to Always Get the Dates and Others Don’t. #5 And that is your appearance.
Now I know I already did a video about this. If you want either a refresher on all of the things that you can do to enhance your appearance or if you have not seen the video yet and you want to know what I’m talking about, make sure you click down below. So the biggest thing is smell. Having a positive reaction to the way you smell will also help have a positive reaction to getting that date or even securing the second date.
Just making sure that you don’t have on too little cologne or even too much cologne. Just keep it in that middle range and I promise you, she’s going to have a very positive olfactory memory of you. The next thing I’m going to talk about is just overall appearance and just looking like you put forth the effort. Having that first impression is a big, big deal. So really just putting forth that extra effort like grooming your nails, taking a little time to make sure nothing is wrinkled on your clothes and really just looking like overall.
You put yourself together this morning and you’ve made that extra effort and I know that some of you guys are gonna say “Lindsay, I work at a place that I don’t have to really dress up, I don’t have to wear a suit every day.” That’s great that’s fine, there’s nothing wrong with that. You can still put forth just a little extra effort and it’ll go a long way. Even if you’re not headed out for a date, maybe you’re going out with your buddies or you’re just going to work but you’re gonna meet people for drinks afterwards, you honestly have no idea where you could meet your soulmate or where you can meet a beautiful woman, in general, that you want to spend any amount of time with. #4 is your manners. Now, before you come at me and say “Lindsay, I know manners,” “I was raised right,” “I know how to chew with my mouth closed,” “I know, I know.” I actually once had a friend who met a guy on Bumble.
She was completely smitten with him, couldn’t stop talking about him. I heard about this guy every day for probably a week and a half and she was so excited to go on a date with him. She bought a new outfit. She literally went all out for this date because she was so excited for this guy. And, it did not go well.
He would ask her a question and then before she could even answer, he’d be like “well, I only ask because for me” and then he would go into a 30-minute dissertation about his experience with the subject. And she, overall, just felt like he didn’t care about her or her opinion at all and she never went out with the guy again. So just being mindful that you’re not interrupting someone when they’re talking is a really big deal. You really only have one chance to make this first impression so you don’t want to let anything stand in your way of securing either the first date or the second date or any date after that for that matter.
Now, this next thing might seem like a no-brainer but honestly, being rude to waiters and waitresses is something that I have seen on more dates than I care to talk about. I’ve had so many guys be so nice to me but when the waitress comes or the waiter comes over talking to a cashier or even just people on the street, they’re so rude almost as if they’re putting on a facade with me and it makes me feel like their kindness towards me or any good things that I get from them are disingenuous because they can’t be nice to the other people that were around. #3 is your listening skills. Being a good listener is a huge deal for women I once went out with a guy who every five seconds kept checking his phone at the table.
I honestly could not have been more turned off and I honestly, felt like “why am I here,?” “why are we on this date.? If there are a million other people you’d rather be talking to, I’d rather you go talk to them and not have wasted my time. Unless, it’s an absolute emergency, put the phone away. Another thing that’s really important is to make eye contact when the woman is talking on the date. I’ve had a lot of guys, they’ll be talking to me, I’ll be answering a question that they just asked me and I’ll just get a lot of this; “mmm-hmm, yeah,” “no, yeah,” “no, yeah, totally.” I hate that.
Women want to feel like we are the center of attention and that all of your attention is on us when you’ve asked us out on a date or if you’re trying to ask us out on a date. We don’t want to be an option, we want to be the option as in the only option that you’re interested in having. So, really, being mindful of where your attention is focused and your eyesight is focused, is going to play a huge role in your active listening. Another great way to show that you are actively listening to us on the date and being a good listener is to ask follow-up questions, getting deeper into the subject, finding out what else we think about that particular subject and not just immediately changing to the next thing.
It’ll show us that you have a vested interest in what we’re saying that will go a long way with any woman in your life. So #2 is being in support of women. I’m not saying that you have to immediately love everything and anything made by women or created by women just because it’s created by women.
And I’m not saying that you can’t be critical of works of art that are made by women. But guys who are completely opposed to seeing anything whether it be a movie or a television show or an art exhibit or even reading a book just because it’s made by a woman. That’s a huge turnoff for us as women in a romantic relationship women want to be seen as an equal partner. So, when you say “I don’t support that because it was made by a woman,” or “I don’t support that because it’s female centric.” To us that says; “why would you support what I do for work, then?” We want to see that we are just as equally important to you as anybody else in the world is. This also plays into how you speak about other women, especially if you’re talking about our friends.
I actually had a personal experience with with a guy I was dating, we had been dating for about a month and we were on a date and he immediately sat down and started talking all about how all my friends were bad. And here’s all the reasons why they were bad and it was a huge turnoff for me. Why? One, do you feel the need to tell me this? and two, like these are the most important women in my life.
So if anything you should be working overtime to find the good in them. This also can apply to the “ex” conversation and and while I don’t think that that’s a conversation you need to have, off the bat, and for a while. How you talk about your exes is really important to a woman. We noticed that kind of stuff. If you were talking ill about your ex and saying she’s crazy and she’s “this” and she’s “that,” that’s not really fair.
And it doesn’t make us feel good, and I know a lot of guys do that because they want to make a woman feel more secure in the relationship. But it actually doesn’t make us feel any more secure. It actually brings up more issues. I’m not saying don’t be honest. Please, don’t get me wrong.
I’m just saying, when you do speak about women in your life, that you’ve had issues with, whether that be an ex or a friend or anyone, really try and focus on the lessons you learned rather than the person, especially when you’re speaking to somebody that you’re trying to date. Alright, we have come to it#1 reason why some guys happen to get the date and other guys don’t. And that is your approach.
How you approach a woman is going to play a huge role in how the rest of the interaction with this woman is gonna go. I honestly had a guy, sit down so close next to me, he might as well have been in my lap and whisper in my ear it was creepy and hated it. Don’t be the guy that makes a bold move in the wrong direction.
I once was in a bar I was talking to a perfectly nice guy and this other guy comes up and infront of the other man I’m talking to says, “hey, when you’re done talking to this guy come over to the next bar.” What? No! Women love when a man is confident enough to approach them but not so confident, it seems as though you care more about yourself than you do about her. So make sure that your interaction shows a valued interest in her, her time, and what she’s doing and not just about you and what you want. Another thing that can kill your approach is being too timid.
Now, I know you’re thinking “Lindsay, I can’t be too aggressive,” “I can’t be too timid,” What am I supposed to do?” I’m not saying you can’t have a little bit of both in your approach. I’m just saying don’t take things to an extreme. For example, I was once at a club and I saw a guy across the bar and he was so handsome and I really wanted to talk to him and he just made eye contact at me, all night.
That’s it, just kept staring at me but wouldn’t approach me and then it just creeps me out. Now, this one is one I feel like you guys may already know but I think a lot of guys actually fall into the trap and that is not being genuine. I think sometimes, it’s really hard to have the confidence to approach a woman.
I know it’s intimidating, but a lot of guys actually shift the wrong direction and put on a persona that is completely disingenuous that women can see through. And so it comes across again as fake, a little creepy, we’re not totally sure how to interpret your intention and therefore, we’re not going to accept any sort of a date from you. Eventually, lies come to the surface and if you’re going to be with this woman long term, you could end up ruining what would be a terrific relationship.
Plus, it’s really sexy when a guy can own up to who he is and be confident and honest about who he is, his age or any other aspects of his life. Wearing who you are with confidence is the biggest turn-on for women. So, there you have it. Maybe, you were able to see something that you are doing that could be sabotaging your potential relationships or maybe you just learn something new about how to attract more women to yourself.
I mean, we all have traits and habits that we are a little unaware of that could be turning others off and understanding these traits and habits is the next step to becoming more self-aware and like psychologist Daniel Coleman says, “Being self-aware is our next step to having emotional intelligence and emotional intelligence is what really helps us when it comes to our romantic relationships and interpersonal relationships. It’s really honestly very simple we as women want to know that we are your top priority and if you keep that in mind when you’re approaching women or you’re on a date you’re gonna be amazing. If you liked this video make sure you give it a thumbs up and if you have any questions comments or ideas for our next video that you want to stay on this channel leave it in the comments below and if you are not already subscribed, why not go ahead and hit that subscribe button. If you are looking for a little bit more help when it comes to your confidence approaching women and making sure you get that date, we have a confidence cheat sheet that Matt has created for you guys. It’ll be linked in the description below.You can go ahead and download that there.
Also, if you’re interested in some boot camps you want to take this whole dating thing to the next level, make sure you sign up for those .That link will also be in the description below and until the next video. Bye!